i feel so mean today.
maybe i am mean.
but i dont want to be mean.
i think i do too many mean things to make myself comfortable.
to make myself feel better.

that is one sad thing.

what am i going to do when everything just blows up?
i really dont know.

i just build too many buildings around me
and
i don't know when all of it is just going to fall on me.

one building higher than the other.
eagerly trying to break up my pretty dreamy sky.
to force me into the world where i should suffer for what i did.

you reading this obviously dont understand.
:)
it's alright, you're normal.

one day, i will suffer for what i did.
i will be waiting :) with a smile.

there's so many things you dont know about me.
only i know what im showing you is real or not.

you know, LAUJIAWEN! Chocolate's my medicine.