i shall blog again to prove my writing talents.
stupid jane. this is all real, and in me.


The clear memories of yesterday didn't fail in coming back to haunt me, not surprising. I closed my eyes, and allowed it to replay again and again. Over and over. I stopped fighting, allowing my mind to let it take over. Little little flashes made me open my eyes again, unable to stand it. The tears were ever so ready, annoying me. What was this? Pain? Or simply anger? Sadness?

Overwhelming emotions went spinning and spinning around, but anger came first. why was i so weak? No signs of weakness is allowed. I should have known that. but i wasn't prepared for what was coming. of course, that perfect mask came on when i was not yet prepared. That plastic mask, with its false smile, nothing shown were real. Nothing shown were true.

Slowly came the pain, forcing my heart down to the bottom of a well, drowning in the deep waters. I struggled to breathe, to let go, but no, it stayed inside. It huddled in that little corner of my heart, but controlling the whole of my heart, refusing to leave, determined to stay.

they say time heals everything, does it? Time came and went, but the little pain still stayed huddled there, almost smiling and mocking at time. This pain coloured my world blue, everything i see, seems to be saying, "what are you doing? stop fighting." what's the point of fighting? all the reasons went tumbling down into the well, just like my heart.
But this little reason, almost strong, tried to hang on. I watched as the last of the reasons disappear into the waters. I continued watching, as it appears again, struggling to keep afloat. It never gives up, does it? It's so annoying. Can't it just drown and lessen the pain in my heart?

There it goes again. Taking over my mind. the horrible memories. go away. please go away. i will do anything to get it out of me. Even a right arm.

haha, no not a right arm. No way.

bye:)

you know, LAUJIAWEN! Chocolate's my medicine.